she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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