Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
