I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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