I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
