I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
