Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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