Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
