he puts the penis in happiness.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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