I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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