booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
