i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
