My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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