Kiss
Puke
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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