I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
