I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
