It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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