it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
