well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
