i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
