so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
