dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
