Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just had sex bonerless
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
