This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
