Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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