I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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