whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
