Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
