Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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