even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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