I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
