Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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