So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
