That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
porn star boner night. come get it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize