i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
