Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
