He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
