By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Randomize
