Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
