i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
