Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
