I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
