Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
