she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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