What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
