I think im going to throw up on grandma
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
