bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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