Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
