Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
