even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
