Do you still have your period?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
