love makes seman taste better
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
