1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
