I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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