I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
