so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
