She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize