ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
