just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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