I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Panties = found
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
