Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
how drunk are you?
Several
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