I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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