I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
