whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
