forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
