if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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