so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
