Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
