Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
