Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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