please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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