Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize